Preposterous Paul Burrell's excited boast finally makes sense

Back in late December, I felt duty-bound to forewarn readers that preposterous ex-butler Paul Burrell was going about excitedly telling folk we'd be "seeing a lot of him" in 2025, adding he was bound by "non-disclosure agreements" at the time. All is now clear, following confirmation Princess Diana's one-time "rock" is cashing in with a third book on his long-ago life with the royals - over 20 years since incensing Prince William with his debut controversial effort. Said biography, out this September, will be called The Royal Insider - surely Scraping The Barrel is more apt?

Though the daft-as-a-brush Duchess of York predictably meets with mockery after claiming the late Queen speaks to her through corgis Sandy and Muick, the monarch is known to have believed in the supernatural.While she and Princess Margaret maintained they once saw Queen Elizabeth I in the Windsor Castle library, Her Majesty was also said to be convinced she'd spotted the ghost of John Brown, Queen Victoria's devoted servant, walking down a Balmoral corridor.

As the dust settled on this year's Eurovision, Wombles performer and songwriter Mike Batt raged: "Time for the end of this sh*t-show called Eurovision...it's an horrendous, indulgent, excruciating mess."

Publicity-hungry Mr Batt's own contribution to the contest is now largely overlooked - the Wombles provided the half-time entertainment before what was then a little-known quartet called Abba triumphed 51 years ago.

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While Gillian Anderson's split personality intrigues fans and commentators alike - whenever in America she addresses the media in a US accent, only to switch to cut-glass English in the UK - the Chicago-born actress now claims to have rejected the land of her birth.

Though a dual US and British citizen, Anderson, pictured, insists she'll remain based in England during Donald Trump's presidency.

Asked about the prospect of living in America, she grandly responds: "Not at the minute, I wouldn't say...at some point, when there's a woman president, maybe yes. But at the minute, no thank you."

Seeing as the US has never voted for a female leader to date, Gillian's homecoming feels a long way off...

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Attending the unveiling of a plaque on North London Indian restaurant Aroma Spice, celebrating the fact it was the first public meeting place for Monty Python members in 1969, Sir Michael Palin remarked: "All I remember is arguments over the bill. John Cleese didn't want to pay, Eric Idle wanted to pay in dollars."

Recent headlines concerning ongoing Python feuds confirm the old boys are still squabbling over money 56 years later.

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Due to present his last Match of the Day this weekend, Gary Lineker once famously appeared in just boxer shorts on the show, pictured, honouring a previous jokey pledge after his beloved Leicester City upset the odds and won the Premier League in 2016.

Almost a decade on, Leicester are relegated and Gary's being forced out of the BBC. How the mighty have fallen!