Thirukkural with the Times explores real-world lessons from the classic Tamil text ‘Thirukkural’. Written by Tamil poet and philosopher Thiruvalluvar, the Kural consists of 1,330 short couplets of seven words each. This text is divided into three books with teachings on virtue, wealth, and love and is considered one of the great works ever on ethics and morality. The Kural has influenced scholars and leaders across social, political, and philosophical spheres.
Motivational speaker, author and diversity champion Bharathi Bhaskar explores the masterpiece.
A few days ago, a ten-year-old boy walked into the set of Kaun Banega Crorepati. As he sat opposite the legendary Amitabh Bachchan, he glowed with excitement and pride. The boy spoke confidently — perhaps a little too much. When Bachchan started to explain the rules, the child interrupted, “Sir, don’t start explaining, I know them.” The audience laughed and clapped, encouraging his spiritedness.
As the questions rolled, his quick retorts continued, at times bordering on rudeness. But the applause only spurred him on — until he stumbled at the fourth question and had to return emptyhanded, sooner than expected.
When the episode was aired, the internet buzzed with criticism. Social media declared the boy arrogant and ill-mannered, and within hours, he became a national symbol of ‘ parenting gone wrong’.
“Today’s parents are too lenient,” some said. What kind of parents should we be — strict, as many of our parents were, or gentle friends who never raise their voices?
We are a generation walking a tightrope between control and compassion. We grew up fearing authority but now fear our children ’s displeasure. We want them to be confident but never brash, independent but never defiant.
A few years ago, a Class 10 girl from Luxembourg stayed with us on an exchange programme. Over dinner, she said, “Indian children are brilliant in math. But they rarely use the words please, sorry, or thank you.” Her words lingered long after she left. Have we become a society that celebrates achievement but forgets grace?
The challenge of parenting today is not to raise achievers but to raise children who balance pride with humility; EQ with IQ. Confident, not arrogant; obedient, not weak.
At times, the elders have different rule books — while the mother urges her child to tidy up after playtime, a loving grandmother intervenes, “He’s just a child, I’ll clean up.” In that moment of indulgence, discipline evaporates.
Then there are parents who rush to the school when a teacher scolds the child. In some instances, powerful families get the teacher transferred too. A child insulated from every discomfort grows up defenceless against life.
Psychologists call it the six-pocket syndrome: two parents and four grandparents pour love and gifts from six pockets, wrapping the child in a cocoon of indulgence. Such children often grow up with low tolerance for frustration and a fragile sense of entitlement.
The Bible says, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son.” The “rod” here is not cruelty — it is guidance, the shepherd’s staff that keeps the sheep from straying too far.
Thiruvalluvar, too, saw this truth clearly. In his chapter on righteous governance, he writes:
Katidhochchi Mella Erigga Nedidhakkam
Neengaamai Vaendu Pavar.
(Thirukkural 562)
“Let the king who desires his prosperity to last long
Be strict when enquiring but mild when punishing.”
He was advising kings, but he could well have been speaking to parents. He states that extremes do not pay. Be firm when you correct; be soft when you teach. Show the boundary with strength, but walk your child across it with kindness.
The age of harsh fathers and fearful silence has passed. Yet if we refrain from correcting, we may hand the task to strangers- a mocking world where lessons come late and hurt more.
The young boy on KBC will learn, in time, the delicate line between confidence and arrogance. Perhaps he has already begun.
Motivational speaker, author and diversity champion Bharathi Bhaskar explores the masterpiece.
A few days ago, a ten-year-old boy walked into the set of Kaun Banega Crorepati. As he sat opposite the legendary Amitabh Bachchan, he glowed with excitement and pride. The boy spoke confidently — perhaps a little too much. When Bachchan started to explain the rules, the child interrupted, “Sir, don’t start explaining, I know them.” The audience laughed and clapped, encouraging his spiritedness.
As the questions rolled, his quick retorts continued, at times bordering on rudeness. But the applause only spurred him on — until he stumbled at the fourth question and had to return emptyhanded, sooner than expected.
When the episode was aired, the internet buzzed with criticism. Social media declared the boy arrogant and ill-mannered, and within hours, he became a national symbol of ‘ parenting gone wrong’.
“Today’s parents are too lenient,” some said. What kind of parents should we be — strict, as many of our parents were, or gentle friends who never raise their voices?
We are a generation walking a tightrope between control and compassion. We grew up fearing authority but now fear our children ’s displeasure. We want them to be confident but never brash, independent but never defiant.
A few years ago, a Class 10 girl from Luxembourg stayed with us on an exchange programme. Over dinner, she said, “Indian children are brilliant in math. But they rarely use the words please, sorry, or thank you.” Her words lingered long after she left. Have we become a society that celebrates achievement but forgets grace?
The challenge of parenting today is not to raise achievers but to raise children who balance pride with humility; EQ with IQ. Confident, not arrogant; obedient, not weak.
At times, the elders have different rule books — while the mother urges her child to tidy up after playtime, a loving grandmother intervenes, “He’s just a child, I’ll clean up.” In that moment of indulgence, discipline evaporates.
Then there are parents who rush to the school when a teacher scolds the child. In some instances, powerful families get the teacher transferred too. A child insulated from every discomfort grows up defenceless against life.
Psychologists call it the six-pocket syndrome: two parents and four grandparents pour love and gifts from six pockets, wrapping the child in a cocoon of indulgence. Such children often grow up with low tolerance for frustration and a fragile sense of entitlement.
The Bible says, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son.” The “rod” here is not cruelty — it is guidance, the shepherd’s staff that keeps the sheep from straying too far.
Thiruvalluvar, too, saw this truth clearly. In his chapter on righteous governance, he writes:
Katidhochchi Mella Erigga Nedidhakkam
Neengaamai Vaendu Pavar.
(Thirukkural 562)
“Let the king who desires his prosperity to last long
Be strict when enquiring but mild when punishing.”
He was advising kings, but he could well have been speaking to parents. He states that extremes do not pay. Be firm when you correct; be soft when you teach. Show the boundary with strength, but walk your child across it with kindness.
The age of harsh fathers and fearful silence has passed. Yet if we refrain from correcting, we may hand the task to strangers- a mocking world where lessons come late and hurt more.
The young boy on KBC will learn, in time, the delicate line between confidence and arrogance. Perhaps he has already begun.
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